11/14/2023 0 Comments Naked dudes![]() It all goes to prove the maxim known by every gold-winning athlete, from the Greeks of ancient days to the athletic icons of today: There’s no better place than the Olympics to let it all hang out. ( Plenty more pictures of Haesindang Park right here.) A happy ending all the way around!Īnyway, that’s your penis-related Olympic content for the day. And guess what? The fish came back, and later, so did curious tourists. And one day, a fisherman … you know what? We can’t even write what the fisherman did, but the upshot is this: Folks decided that the ghost of the swept-away woman liked seeing male genitalia, and so to accommodate her, the locals carved forests’ worth of penises. After that, there was much mourning, but no fish. Alas, one day a storm came up, and she was swept away and died. Not far from PyeongChang, there’s a spot known as Haesindang Park, or, unofficially, “Penis Park.” Why? Because there are penises there as far as the eye can see, friends:Īccording to local legend, the park honors a virgin named Haesindang, whose fisherman boyfriend left her on a rock while he fished. ![]() Oh, and one other note: this isn’t the only penis-related artwork in the vicinity of the Olympics. Perhaps your social group’s mileage will vary. So, for that matter, would “Aluminum Penises.”) Whatever, it appears we’ve got a jaded lot here in South Korea. Was the wind too cold to stop walking, or was this a case of profound penis indifference? (Note: “Penis Indifference” would be a hell of a name for a band. A paltry two percent of subjects took photos of the naked dudes. (For the record, it was the far-left one.) It moved, as George Costanza once said. 1: The number of statues that wobbled in the high wind.1: The number of people who appeared to mouth “Wow!” when they saw the statues.(One of the two spoke no English, and the other had absolutely zero interest in being quoted talking about aluminum penises on a worldwide website. 2: The number of people who stopped to take photographs.7: The number of people who glanced up at the statues.But we stuck it out, and after 100 folks went walking by, here’s what we totaled: This wasn’t exactly a ball there was a stiff wind kicking up, the kind of bone-chiller that makes you really put your head down. ![]() So, anyway, we stood out in the Alpensia Ski Resort plaza and conducted a highly scientific study of 100 passersby, watching to see their reactions to Bullet Man. These are, symbolically speaking, penises with penises. Oh, sure, the artist can say they’re reminiscent of bullets, but we know what’s up. The next thing you notice is that these men have large, rounded hoods atop their heads. (Feel free to make “shrinkage” jokes as your experience warrants.) That comes as a relief for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that it’s awfully cold out here, and they’re awfully exposed. The first thing you realize once you’re in their presence is that these statues are in fact actual statues, and not those fake streetcorner-performer jobs that come to life. Me, I’m here to make male-genitalia jokes. ![]() ![]() (Yes, some people travel halfway around the world to win gold medals and establish themselves as paragons of human athleticism. So in the interest of journalism - and the fact that the speed-skating event I was due to cover didn’t start for another six hours - I decided to hang out around Bullet Man and see how the world reacted to its glory. ![]()
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